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Doctor Paul calls up his buddy Joseph Matthews (Thundercat) and talks about personality, natural game, masculinity and all that good stuff.

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If any of you have seen this incredible new movie, the Bourne Ultimatum, then you know that there are rich and extensive lessons about masculinity and communicating to women right there for us to learn from.

I’m sure most of you have at least seen the first two films in the series, The Bourne Identity and or the Bourne Supremacy, but the third installment utterly outdoes everything else in action films you’ve likely ever seen. Yes, all the Die Hard films, all the Bonds, and even The Professional.

If you really dug into the mindOS material over the past few years, then you know how useful films are to learn from. The main character of a truly great film is ALWAYS an “EVERYMAN.” This is one of those films.

Why an “Everyman?” Because if nearly anyone can get into the shoes of the main character, then you are watching right before your very eyes, the possible future life YOU could be having. In other words, if you could do EXACTLY the character decisions the main character makes, YOU will get exactly the same rewards the character gets at the climax.

So if YOU made the type of decisions Jason Bourne makes, then YOUR personal character would grow exactly in the ways his does. Who he is comes out of the result of what he DOES. He is unstoppable, and therefore so could YOU be.

Learning from this character doesn’t mean that you have to go out and join the CIA black ops program. You don’t have to get in firefights or fistfights. You can apply what you learn to how effective you are in relationships, your career, or nearly everything else in your life as a man.

Your character growth is STRATEGIC, not necessarily TACTICAL. By strategic, I mean the overall plan for your life, and the way you can develop purposeful HABITS that over time, repeated application, and deep understanding, lead to all the long term success you are wanting. Tactics are just the current single actions you take. They may be effective today but not tomorrow. That’s fine, but you need more than tactics in life.

If you have seen my friend Mystery’s new tv show, The Pickup Artist, then you are aware that everyone and their random acquaintances are now knowledgeable about certain specific TACTICS you can use in effectively communicating attractiveness to women. But these will work in some scenarios while not in others, may work today, or this year, but perhaps not tomorrow, or next year. You always have to EVOLVE if all you use are tactics.

The great thing about CHARACTER though - all the details we cover in the basic growth strategies of mindOS, refine in the KWML material, and bring strategically into full systematic approach in the Omega Male Seminar - is that your investment in your own character growth is the secret key to getting your entire life onto a strategic track of successful HABITS. You don’t have to be always scrambling to learn the latest gimmicks and moves, the latest buzzwords and communication tricks. It’s all on autopilot.

If you could break Jason Bourne down in three ways - body/physical, heart, and mind - you’d see something remarkable.

BODY/PHYSICAL

Some of my coaching staff have a gimmick they laugh about using. It’s merely a TACTIC. Whether in romantically relating to women, or in friendships, competition with other males, and other social challenges, they call it THE TALONS OF ATTRACTION.

Like an eagle’s talons, they joke with each other about how powerful it is to grip someone else’s arm firmly, but with a spirit of kind leadership, and gently DIRECT them toward or away from themselves.

With a woman you are dating, this seems to get her very attracted to you (thus the term, Talons of ATTRACTION), and with moving other gentlemen AWAY from you with your “talons,” it seems to magically encourage their RESPECT for you.

But that is mere TACTICS.

The actual STRATEGY of masculine character underneath this tactic is that it shows strong boundaries and territoriality, the term, “strength” literally being the very psychological resource stored in one’s boundary.

Women actually then feel SAFER because of your presence, since they are hard-wired to be attracted to men who make them feel safe. And other competing men feel at first basic RESPECT for you (do to your understanding of the male need for personal territory - as in “get out of mine”) and eventually RESPECT because you are conveying an instinct that they also have, but do not have the masculine experience to put into consistent ACTION. They then want to learn from you or be associated with you.

There is a kind of assertiveness and balanced restraint that must be used, and Jason Bourne does this in spades.

He is an Everyman in the sense that he is stressed and challenged much of the time by forces he does not know the full identity of, is therefore an underdog, slightly vulnerable, but has a fortitude, a strength of boundary in which he is willing to face the unknown in his search to find out who he is. (He has amnesia for his identity due to a government program that wipes out one’s memory in order to train you to be an assassin, and due to head trauma suffered during his last sanctioned “kill.”)

In using his body, he always has the Observing Ego turned on. He is aware of where all the threats are in his vicinity, and systematically takes them out with the least possible damage or harm to others, or himself of course.

This example of how boundary skill applies not only to our minds, but our bodies as well is amazing. Any of you who have taken advanced martial arts forms such as Aikido or Judo know that the most effective of all combat (or competition) is that in which you subdue an opponent without even causing them harm. In doing so, it is much more unlikely that they continue to cause you trouble. There isn’t an “eye for an eye” revenge motive.

And that’s what I mean by “restraint.” When I teach you about the definition of a “gentleman” in some of my media appearances, or in detail in the Mature Masculine Power ecourse or DVDS, I tell you that a “gentleman is not a gentle man.” He can meet direct force with direct force, can joust or duel as well as exercise diplomacy and politics where they are most effective.

Bourne does this compellingly after roughing up nearly half the Moscow police force, then, when in the clear superior position of having his gun trained on an officer, he does NOT pull the trigger. He can easily just leave without their further interference, and upon quickly realizing this with his Observing Ego skill (from mindOS), he simply says in perfect Russian, “My argument is not with you.” Then he leaves with the great respect of the very officer who was hunting him down with “shoot to kill” orders only moments before.

This is the same effect you see when two dudes who don’t know each other get in a fistfight that leaves them panting and laughing at the end, full of respect for each other’s strength in battle, and now fast friends. (Remember the gun scene in the film, Swingers, when leads a few days later to playing video games together?)

Bourne is a leader in terms of his body language and physical action because of a special feature I teach you about in my most advanced material. He has practiced and practiced, and had experience after experience at using his body - the same way you develop skill during a bootcamp - to the point where he lets it all go on autopilot, INSTINCTS which he has come to TRUST intuitively, and knows that they can be let loose to produce results without him having to slowly think and plan out every move.

Great action scenes here.

HEART

When we are talking about the heart we are talking about more than just emotions. We are talking about self-esteem, which is completely spelled out for you in visual maps in the mindOS material. When we say that a man “has heart,” we are talking about his fortitude of self-esteem, his ability to both care about a cause, a friend, or a woman, and at the same time, go out and defend those causes, friends, and the woman with COURAGE.

Jason Bourne is so much more a superior spy-film action hero than James Bond because he is not a paper cutout or robotic killer with a misogynistic tint. He is emotionally vulnerable, can feel lost, confused, tender, can feel love for a woman, and yet not get so enslaved by his own emotions that they render him incapable of action, rationality, or purpose in life.

He has amnesia, but like the famous writer and psychiatrist, Victor Frankel did in the Nazi Concentration camp, he can find a purpose for his life, even if everything else out there is still a question mark, even his very identity, his real name. He decides at some point that even with people around every corner trying to kill him, he MUST discover who he really is.

And isn’t that just like you and me?

We MUST find out who we are in this life, and discover our PURPOSE for being. Then we must use that HEART we’ve found - the tender well-being to care for others with, and the courage to face the unknown.

MIND

Which brings us to Jason Bourne’s MIND.

It’s been somewhat erased.

The government is out to get him. People want to kill him, but through the course of the movie and all the government bureaucracy, we (and he) find that sometimes people are just taking orders, not really thinking about the ethics of why they are doing what they do.

Many a conspiracy theorist loves this aspect of the Bourne films, but if you look a little under the surface, how much more is there for us to learn.

The US government in the film is not just your average bad-guy villain. It is a fantastic metaphor for all the random, seemingly malevolent forces and challenges that surround us all every day. On an individual basis, individuals who hassle us may in fact mean us personal harm, destructiveness, and get pleasure out of seeing us in pain, or loss, or difficulty.

But if you add up all those individuals in your life, and all the challenges and troublesome problems that you have to solve just to get along as a man in the world today, the sum total of it all is not some specific conspiracy to “get you.” It is all just random human behavior, and added up, means you no specific harm. Your environment doesn’t even know you exist. It just does what it does.

Like Bourne uses the martial arts form called Krav Maga - an art of using everyday objects as defensive weapons - you too must use what you’ve got in your environment to defend yourself and build a life that suits your purpose for being here.

Bourne is a gentleman with “an edge.” He knows how to defend, how to kill, how to automatically destroy by reflex in order to get his mission accomplished. But the metaphor for the film and its politics is that there is a far more profound aspect to being a man than simply taking orders and going on missions that don’t help you become what you are meant to become.

While on that planned assassination so many years ago, when he lost his memory, the feature of the mind that he was starting to recover was that of his mature masculine ETHICS. That when he saw that his “target” was not just an Enemy of the State, but a father of young children, a husband, and a pawn in the game of government intrigue, just like himself, he couldn’t pull the trigger.

And that wasn’t weakness. It was growth into a new phase of being a man, one who came back more powerful than a mere bag of assassin-tactics could ever be.

Bourne finds that he has nothing to live for that OTHERS put onto him, but EVERYTHING to live for in discovering WHO HE IS. If he manages to find that, then he has found everything one needs to regain control of life, and perhaps one day (movie FOUR!) find love again.

Because he is an Everyman, he is you, and you are him in potential. So the journey ahead is no different for you.

Find yourself. And everything else - love, dating, career - they all just work out. Not randomly, like the environment around you, but because of the strategic nature of your CHARACTER.

There has to be an area within this community that allows for new innovative ideas and growth. Introducing…the Day Game Revolution. Lucky for you guys, this area is my favorite place to run game. What’s going on with this new revelation? First, the area of Day Game is not a new idea or concept within the community. In fact, before in-field trainings and the plethora of seminars that came along with them…PUAs (Pickup Artists) operated on techniques that were invented in the Day time environment. It wasn’t until the branching out of the community that we got innovate techniques that were field tested and invented for night game. So, the area of Day Game was vital since the beginnings of the community and then branched off. What we can make of this is simply that Day Game lost popularity to night game, and with it any new and innovative techniques that were on the verge of becoming Gold. I call this the Day Game Depression. This occurred from about 2002-2008. So, 2002 was the apex of Day Game’s development. What happened next? Night game techniques exploded and took over…until finally, guys started to search for the other. GUYS GOT TIRED OF FEELING LIKE EVERY OTHER GUY, FEELING EMPTY BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT BEING THEMSELVES IN THIS ENVIRONMENT. GUYS LOST THE ABILITY TO PLAY.

The solution to this madness is the resurrection of Day Game: Day Game Revolution. Lucky for you, I’ve been out there in-field during the Day, getting tons of new innovative techniques and theories to share with YOU. Together, with our team, we have been addressing this revolution, and will continue by offering you guys the most original day game arsenal you can handle. Are you ready for the Day Game Revolution? I am. My name is Coach Tali, and I’m ready to PLAY.

to be continued…

Tali (aka Grocery Game Capitan)

p.s. make sure to read my Day Game FR on Grocery Game.

p.p.s. more to come…as well as my very own… Grocery Game-Day Game at the Next Level. Are you ready for this new revolution? peas my brothers,

Ok…here is the very first installment of my day game lifestyle. Today’s lesson includes how I number close in a grocery store environment. Let’s go…
Yesterday was an amazing day game day for me at the grocery store…actually everyday is a great day for me at the grocery store…Why? Well, more on that later…for now let’s get to my FR.

I was walking by the alternative-milk section, and as I was getting my usually Organic Almond Milk I notice a very attractive HB reaching for some rice milk…

Tali: Excuse me, may I suggest something even more yummy than that?(touching her rice milk while looking into her left eye).

HB Rice Milk: Sure. I usually buy this because it’s very cheap and it reminds me of something my mom makes.

Tali: That’s so cool…but taste this ( I open my Almond Milk)…let’s go get some cups and sample this stuff…c’mon ( I grab her hand and start walking away…she follows me).  OK, let’s find some cups.

HB Rice Milk: Wow… I can’t believe we are doing this.

Tali: It’s cool…it’s our right. (I take her to the dairy section and ask the grocer if he could supply us with two cups to sample the product. The grocer agrees…I tell the grocer he better make that three cups…hey, the more the better.

HB Rice Milk: I’ve never done this before at a grocery store…You’re so crazy…do you always do this?

Grocer: Here you go boss.

Tali: No, thank you. You Rock…now come drink with us.
(we all drink to life…)

HB Rice Milk: Yummy (looks to me for another).

Tali: (Sweeeet)…ready for round two?

Grocer: I like this stuff man….you guys made my day.

Tali: sweet… (to HB Rice Milk) Hey, it seems like we made a new friend and had a couple of drinks in the process…I think this makes for an amazing time!!!

HB Rice Milk: Yeah….I love this place…

Tali: So, tell me your story….

(I ended up number closing her without asking for a number…how did I do this???)

continue…

Tali: Really, that’s soo cool (I grab a blank sheet of paper and I rip it in two…I write my name and number on one sheet and I proceed to hand her both sheets along with a pen…)

HB Rice Milk: Blah…blah..blah (she takes the pen and paper and writes her info down…) blah, blah….

Tali: ( I notice a little dog in her purse..) Whoa….that’s a dog… you can get kicked out of here with that thing…

HB Rice Milk: I know…I sneaked him in..

Tali: He’s the cutest little thing ever…tell me about him….

Note: I stay in the set for a couple of more min after i got the digits…sweet.

Her name is Kat…so I nicked named her kitty kat. I will meet up with her this weekend. Awesome.

Women who I work with often ask me why men get nervous when they approach women. They don’t understand how universal the fear of approaching women is and that it is one of the more frustrating aspects of this whole dating scene. Let us get down to the facts.

All men get approach anxiety, at least before they desensitize themselves to the experience. I personally do not get approach anxiety often, but on occasion, I still do. In addition, I have been going out meeting women 2 – 3 times a week for years and teaching men live attract women in bars. Women don’t scare me.

Think about it, if you are in a social setting and someone embarrasses or negatively judges you in front of other people, would you have an emotional reaction to it? Men have to face this whenever they walk up to a woman, she may blow him out in front of his friends, and other people in the venue.

There is also the issue of men lacking observing ego. If you lack the ability to see yourself from an objective perspective and stay in the moment, you create this superficial ego that represents your false beliefs about yourself. If a man (as most men do) tells himself “I am great with women” but really he is not (most aren’t), getting shot down by a woman can destroy his whole perception reality and cause great emotional pain.

So… men have approach anxiety, which is why you see guys get drunk at bars before even attempting to approach women. Most guys (I would guess 85 percent or more) can not approach a woman he doesn’t know sober. When the average guy DOES build up the courage to do this, he is putting a lot on the line emotionally and will have a hard time acting “normal.”

So how do you get through this? Go out and approach women, seriously FORCE yourself too, because if you do not you will be resigning to a life of mediocrity which a fate worse than death.

Also, get bigger problems than a woman’s perception of you. If you think about it logically, what are you scared of? Why does it matter?

We have evolved to have this response as a survival mechanism back when we lived in small tribes of 10 – 15 people. Now, it doesn’t matter but we still have those old survival mechanisms in place genetically. Push through them and condition yourself to not react to these situations and change your life forever.

The best way to get over this hurtle is to remember that meeting women and socializing is FUN. The whole experience is an exciting adventure, and should give you a chance to both enjoy and express yourself to the fullest extent.

If you can put yourself in a fun frame of mind, and go out with the objective of enjoying the process, then all of a sudden, the act of flirting with woman becomes much less intimidating.

I will talk about physical escalation and getting the first kiss in the next letter. Stay tuned.

Take it easy,

-Eric

The Mystery Enigma

The first step is sexual attraction is “mystery.” This means, the first thing you must communicate to women is that you stand out from the crowd. Let women know that there something about you that makes you different, unique, unpredictable and uncontrollable.

We discuss this topic at length in our live programs and products. We break the steps of attraction down into meticulous detail, according to scientific data rather than just “locker room” success stories. One of our best resources for attraction strategy and techniques is The Gentleman’s Toolbox. In this product we present you some funny, many “wacky” games, stories and openers that are designed to give you an enigmatic vibe.

But, for those of you who don’t have the Gentleman’s Toolbox, here is some free “food for thought” regarding this essential step in sexually attracting women.

Think about “mystery” it in terms of just standing out in some way from most other guys. Wear a style of clothing that fits your personality rather than trying to blend in with a style that everyone else wears. Talk about topics that interest YOU rather than just rehashing the same things that other “gurus” talk about with women.

More importantly, don’t open up emotionally right off the bat. If you start dating a woman and tell her all about your past, your schedule, your fears, your family, your obsession with comic books… etc., she will loose attraction for you… FAST.

Instead, make sure you are not generic in your actions and be unpredictable. Don’t return all of her phone calls, don’t tell her what you are doing all the time, joke around a lot and slowly reveal yourself over time.

Me and my friends call this “peel theory.” You slowly peel back the deeper aspects of your personality over time, but you always keep things hidden. An example of revealing something might be:

Girl: “Hey, where were you last night?”

You: “Kung Foo practice.”

Girl: “OMG, I have known you for four weeks and I didn’t know you took Kung Foo.”

You: “Yeah… I am really into martial arts. Anyways, blah, blah, blah.”

See? If you told her that the first day you met her, that wouldn’t have an emotional impact. Obviously, some things like this will be brought up as you start to get to know each other, but be sure to keep some aspects of your personality “hidden.”

Now, you could also do the opposite to create mystery for the initial attraction:

Girl: “Hey, you should take my number and we should get together Wednesday.”

You: “I have Kung Foo practice Wednesday.”

Girl: “You take kung foo?!?”

You: “Yeah… anyways give me your number and well hang out some other time.”

If you do this, make sure you have some other pieces of your personality covered because she will start to loose interest in the long run.

Really, it is about expressing yourself as an individual, and being unpredictable over time.

Point being, you are either unpredictable or you are separating yourself from other men. It doesn’t have to be something crazy like “I am going base jumping in Venezuela this weekend” but just something that may be unexpected but is unique to who you are.

Be sure to check out the Gentleman’s Toolbox. Even if you don’t decide to purchase the product, there is some great information right on the sales page that you can use to become more mysterious and sexually attractive. Check it out, try out the exercises and propel your success with women forward, guaranteed.

-Eric

What do I Say?

As a dating coach, I often hear the question: “Uh… what do I say?”

Ok, that makes sense.  You walk up to start a conversation with a woman, you get slightly nervous, and you start thinking “Oh no, what if she doesn’t like me… what are we going to talk about…” and then your brain goes blank.  What do you do?

The truth is it does not matter what you say.  You can say almost anything and as long as you are coming from the right place emotionally.  A place of high character and strong boundaries.  Literally, you can walk up and say, “God I feel constipated… what’s up guys?” and get the girl.

That said, it may be easier for some people to use what we “in the industry” refer to as “openers.”  An opener is a ‘canned’ line that we can use to initiate conversation with a woman or group of women. 

This very question is what inspired us to create The Gentleman’s Toolbox, a product we created to give clients countless lines, stories and tactics to use when out on the town, to ensure that you are never at a loss for something to say, you are communicated the right subconscious messages essential for creating sexual attraction.

This became such a popular and valuable product, we even put it in our Essentials Package.  But for those of you who don’t have it, I am going to break down some insanely effective “Opener Tactics” in this email for you.

Sound good?  Cool, lets go.

You may be asking “How is an opener different is this from a pickup line?”  Well, the term “pickup line” generally refers to a corny, over played compliment, which is supposed to flatter a woman so much that she will want to sleep with you.  Examples of stupid “pick up lines” are:

“Hey, let me look at your tag… Oh just as I thought… made in heaven.”

Or

“Wow… are your legs tired?  Because you have been running through my mind all night long…”

or

“Hey, what is your sign?”

These lines are so played out and cliche that they would rarely work in real life.

An opener however, can be effective.  The purpose of an opener is to engage a woman or group of women in a conversation using a topic has been proven to consistently spark an emotionally charged, interesting dialog.  An opener initiates the conversation using a seemingly spontaneous topic so you can then have time to display sexually attractive traits to them early in the interaction without her having a knee-jerk reaction to shoot you down.

Let’s break openers down into three types:

Direct

A direct opener is a technique of opening a conversation by being very honest about your intentions.  An example is:

“Hey, you are gorgeous.  My name is Eric”

Simple, clear but it takes confidence.  This is because you are basically putting your balls on the chopping board by revealing your feelings for her.  If she rejects you, then you can’t “save face” but that’s fine because really it is no big deal if she shoots you down.

Indirect – Opinion opener

An indirect opener is a way of initiation conversation indirectly, so her initial defenses are not up.  Many women go on autopilot and shoot down the majority of guys that come flirt with them because…. They have to.  If you are and attractive woman and are used to being hit on all the time, you need to reject most advances just to get through the day. 

The indirect opener gets around this by asking the girl a seemingly random question but “emotionally charged” questions, which they will respond to naturally without the knee jerk rejection.  This gives you time to display your true personality and gives her more time to become sexually attracted to you.  Two examples are:

“Hey I need a female opinion:  Would you get jealous if your boyfriend was still close with his ex?”

Or

“Hey you know that song that goes “You swing me right round baby, right round…”… Who sings that?”

Natural

 The natural opener is my fallback.  The way it works is, you walk up and just introduce yourself naturally, like you were at a party.  You also just say whatever pops into your head.  If you are totally comfortable and projecting attractive qualities, then this will generate great results.  Example:

“Hey guys, what’s up?  I’m Eric.”

So there you go - three basic styles of opening a conversation with women.  Try them out and use whatever works best for you.

Take it easy guys.

 -Eric

(Executive Instructor/Director Of In Field Training)