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I’ve just posted a new post over at Psychology Today titled “Are women dying in the war on love?“. It’s all about suicide, women and love.  Love to hear your thoughts on this topic over there.

This subject really illustrates the importance of getting your mission in life and skills with women to a point that you can HELP society.  Do your part by learning scientifically proven techniques through the Omega Male Program, and The Gentleman’s Toolbox.

A friend at Psychology Today recently got in touch and offered me a position writing for Psychology Today. It’s a great opportunity for those interested in something beyond “picking up chicks”, which you probably were if you’ve been with me for a while.

Psychology Today and specifically my column called The Urban Scientist will be filled with great explorations into the mind, society, politics, and even the occasional crazy celebrity.

JUST ONE MORE TIME

Some time ago, I got out of a 5-year relationship with a wonderful woman named Tracey. As with many couples, we had started out hot, and then settled into a passionless routine. We were best friends. We watched a lot of TV. We read together in bed.

Perhaps our age difference was a problem; though fears of intimacy, no doubt, were also a factor. Nevertheless, Tracey was 4½ years older than I, and I had an insatiable wandering eye. We lived in a beach community. Many times she caught me looking lustfully at hot young women in skimpy outfits. I was in love with Tracey’s personality, but not her body.

It was a good lesson. It’s not enough to be best friends. Dr. Paul teaches that sexual attraction is the first part of building a relationship, whether you’re looking for Ms. Right or Ms. Right Now. What are the other two parts of building a relationship? Find out in “Mature Masculine Power” & “The Omega Male”.

While I was with Tracey, I worked on a paint crew. Picture me on a ladder next to my buddy, Dexter, who was a little older than I, painting a house near the beach on a blazing hot summer day. Whenever a beautiful young woman walked by, he and I would look at each other, shake our heads in mock dismay and mumble, “Just one more time!”; which meant: We knew we were approaching middle age and felt like we were invisible to hot young women and wouldn’t it be great if we could get away with fondling and caressing, just one more time, one or two young naked female bodies without cheating on our middle-aged girlfriends and being perceived as dirty old men?

MALE ENHANCEMENT

One of masculinity’s dirty little secrets is that many men, from time to time, suffer from erection problems. That began happening to me toward the end of my relationship with Tracey. And not only my dick, but my libido went limp. At the age of 33, I found myself saying things like: “Oh, well . . . sex isn’t all that important, anyway. What really counts is conversation, compatibility . . .” yada yada yada.

A wise female friend of mine, a massage therapist named Nika, said: “Bullshit! You just haven’t found the right woman, yet.”

Nika and I wound up in bed one night, not long after it ended with Tracey. And let me tell you, dear reader . . . my libido was resurrected! Res-erected! Haha!

WHO’S YOUR DADDY?

A few years later, I had the great, good fortune of dating a very mature young woman, named Jessica, in her early 20s. Ah . . . that soft, dewy, fertile flesh! She felt good, smelt good, and damned if she didn’t taste good, too! Before long, I was enjoying sex more than ever. And so was she!

One of the many benefits of being more than a decade older than Jessica was that I had much more staying power than I had when I was her age—no more worries about the gun going off before we were both ready. I was quite proud of myself for being able to hold off until she had climaxed several times. And she was SO appreciative!

Sex wasn’t the only way in which we satisfied each other. Jessica, accustomed only to unrefined boy-men, had never dated a man who knew how to treat her like a lady. Not that I was a sophisticate. But by my 30s, I had studied and practiced my social graces to the point where they had become second nature. And Jessica, not knowing any better, was easily impressed by my manners.

Ironically, many of these courtly behaviors—walking on the curbside of a sidewalk, extending my hand to help women in and out of cars, steering them clear of sidewalk grates when they were wearing heals, and many more—were taught to me by the older women I dated when I was in my 20s. Only, the older ones weren’t nearly as appreciative as young Jessica. They expected to be treated like they were special.

MAESTRO’S THEORY

I think that it’s in society’s best interest for older men to date younger women and for older women to date younger men. Why?

Mothers teach their sons how to be good providers for their wives and children. Mothers don’t teach their sons how to attract hot young women. That’s what fathers do. Unless, as is the case with most of us, our fathers are abusive or neglectful; in which case, older women do society a service by grooming boys to be sexy, sophisticated men—what Dr. Paul calls “A Gentleman with an Edge”. For more info on this concept, including the need for making women feel special, check out “The Gentleman’s Toolbox”.

As a result of what I call this epidemic of fatherlessness (a topic to be discussed in upcoming posts), many women grow up with no healthy examples of mature masculinity. The boys their age don’t know how to treat a lady. Thus young women need older men to teach them how they should be treated.

It’s a win/win situation for people in their 20s to date people over 35. And, to a certain extent, I think of it as the natural order of things. For thousands of years, older men have mentored young women into social and sexual maturity; and re-versa-visa, with older women and younger men. Think of it as prep school for long-term relationships.

When I was in my 20s, I was flattered by the sexual attention of older women. It boosted my masculinity and made me feel more accomplished than I was. Women in their 20s feel the same thing in reverse, when courted by older men. And now, after a good many years of dating younger women, I know why, when I was in my 20s, I couldn’t get dates with hot women my own age—they were dating older guys!

As always, I look forward to your views.

Till next time,

Maestro, Doctor Paul Dating Coach

“Dating for Men over 35” will be moderated by Maestro, a man over 35 who has 30 years of dating experience.

CALL ME MAESTRO!

“But does he conduct an orchestra?”

Remember that Seinfeld episode? Haha

Well, in fact, I have conducted orchestras. But that was a long time ago, in another life.

In those days, I was a sheltered kid from a strict Protestant household, raised by a single mother and her parents; which means I had two generations of prudery instilled in me. I never saw a naked female (of any age) until I spied on my college-aged cousin in the shower, when I was 14.

I lost my virginity at age 22, but only after several years of “Christian” sex—meaning, everything but vaginal intercourse—and then only after that girl and I had dated for a year and a half and literally couldn’t stop our bodies from doing what came naturally.

That relationship ended after I left college. A degree in music qualified me to wait tables. One of the many restaurant jobs I worked over the next ten years was at a cheap seafood buffet in a resort town. That summer was a real eye-opener!

SUMMER OF LUST

The waiter that trained me was a tall, ruggedly handsome fellow named John. Despite the scars on his face (that he had garnered in a knife fight while on shore leave in the Navy) and a finger that had been partially shorn off during an engine room accident, leaving a delicate stub (It was his right middle, or “pussy finger”, as he called it.), he cast an elegant figure in our required tuxedo-with-no-jacket uniform.

“Welcome! You’re gonna meet a lot of women this summer,” was the first thing he said to me.

“Oh, yeah?” He had my attention.

“People come to this town for three reasons: sun, food and sex. Women come in here with their girlfriends to get away from their husbands and boyfriends,” he explained. “Being at the beach reminds them of when they were still single, before they got locked into their middle-American jobs and families. They lust for the passion that they used to have, that their husbands and boyfriends no longer provide. Of course, they don’t go around saying, ‘Hey, I’m gonna cheat on my man!’ But that’s what ends up happening. They want a handsome stranger to sweep them off their feet. It’s not just a fantasy.”

And so, we became wingmen, as we now call it. It was my first experience of being “popular with the ladies”, as my grandfather used to put it. We had women waiting for us almost every night that summer when we got off work.

Sometimes they slipped us their phone numbers or hotel room numbers along with their payments. Sometimes they were waiting at the bar or outside the restaurant for us at closing time. Sometimes we just plain ole asked them if they wanted to meet us after work, and most of the time they either said yes or showed genuine regret for having other plans or for being married. Sometimes the ones that said no would show up later, anyway. Sometimes the most aggressive ones WERE the married ones!

POWER IS SEXY

John was my first mentor in the art of “pick-up”. Looking back, with what I know now, I can see that the reason all those women were attracted to us is because of our status. They were attracted to us for the same reason that we, as men, are attracted to the hot cocktail waitresses and bartenders more than we are to an equally good-looking female who happens to be sitting right next to us.

One of my improv teachers used to say, “The only mistake you can make in improv is to admit that you’ve made a mistake. And that’s because POWER IS SEXY. Audiences will love you as long as you don’t give your power away. They want you to be powerful, to lead them on a journey. They want to know that they are safe in your hands, and that they aren’t wasting their time with you. Audiences look at performers much the same way that women look at men.”

MATURE MASCULINE POWER

Enter Doctor Paul! If you’re looking to become the kind of man that naturally attracts quality women, then the best place to start is with Dr. Paul’s “MATURE MASCULINE POWER” DVD/CD set. If you’re a little more advanced and you really wanna take it to the next level, then try “THE OMEGA MALE” DVD/CD series.

Till next time,

Maestro