There is a War on Love going on – rampant divorce, infidelity, lack of social connection and friendship in the first place – one of the most glaring casualties of this war amounts to a secondary War on Masculinity itself.

Guess what? The enemy is again, not women or men, but Ignorance itself. One of the reasons I have lately been going to the extreme of actually saying there is a “war” is the surprising and escalating research findings coming out of late (such as the sudden five year spike in middle-aged white female suicides), and the horrible downturn in the world economy.

We tend to take the topic of dating, intimacy, love and relationships lightly as men, even to the point of in some cases seeing them as “hobbies” or “add-on’s” to our lives – as if these can be pegged into a category of life one might call “miscellaneous.” We know that to a man’s life, career status has a deep impact on self-worth and mood, and for both genders, love and intimate connection clearly connect with mood and self-worth. Clearly the data is showing something beyond a “life’s hobby” is at stake, and we need to do something about this.

You may find it interesting that another recent study shows that the former common psychology wisdom that married men have greater health and a longer lifespan than perpetual single men (“confirmed bachelors”) may be changing and turning around. Single men are catching up to married men in degree of health status, and this might be caused by them expanding their skill at social connection outside of marriage. I’m sure some guys will even share personal anecdotes in the forum and teleseminars about how actually being tied to a woman in marriage or outside of it, actually leaves them feeling less health physically, and more stressed, then when they have gone it alone.

Why?

Because without knowing the steps of human courtship in detail –not just “hooking up” or “getting laid,” but the whole process of cultivating deep and rich connections with women – men will often find themselves with or committed to the WRONG PERSON.  This is indeed worse than being alone, because you are draining resources that you needed to accomplish your career mission in life, and instead they are getting diverted toward someone who may not be much of a team player, match for you, or worse – may have an active but unconscious motivation to actually compete for attention AGAINST your career or even burn those resources.

This is entirely turned around by using the Omega Male Program.

Here is a little manifestation of the War on Masculinity, and how the enemy truly is Ignorance, not women themselves…

…recently there have been many articles written about gossip, why we do it and how it affects us.  Most of these stories treat men and women as interchangeable, perhaps sometimes for reasons of being “politically correct.”

Yet if we looked at WHY men and women gossip and for different reasons, or how gossip and rumors affect men and women differently, we can see things in a whole new light (rather than saying that gossip is either right or wrong, black or white.)

Say that we looked at what masculinity and femininity really are at the core, and what powers your own masculinity gives you – we’d discover that millions of years of evolution has programmed you to have certain instincts that are “always right,” always on the mark, and always good for you, for women, and for society.

Case in point: men are drawn to gossip to compete, to mess with other guys, and in so doing, to attempt to raise their own rank among other men – therefore their masculinity. Women are drawn to gossip as a way of sharing and connection with other women – which makes them feel more feminine – as well as providing a “checks and balances” system to expose and shun women “behaving badly” in their peer groups. “Cattiness.”

Well does this make men or women “bad?”

No. Men evolved in this way because if you were to envision a team of male warriors out in the jungle, fighting, killing for food, or staving off an enemy, if one of the men were to show weakness, a distaste for competition and testy banter, or to always be leaning too heavily on the other men, it could endanger the whole “team” and its mission.  Whether to fight an enemy, to kill for food, or to protect the village, this male instinct was lifesaving not only for individuals, but for the human race itself!

So is it any wonder to you why we would find that men by and large, avoid going to doctor’s visits, therapy, or generally “admitting weakness” or a need for help?  Men grossly under report depression for example.

I’ve seen some female authors for example, say that this is bad behavior – what’s wrong with these men and why don’t they have the common sense to go in and report a problem they have, getting some help for it?

Because part of the problem may be an already-low not only self-esteem, but masculinity itself. And reporting it – just that act – ironically makes the problem even worse instinctually.

Doesn’t this say something interesting about how gossip and rumors about a man may hurt him deeply, but then on top of this, he also feels alone with that information, doesn’t report it or get it better, and leaving him in a truly terrible place.

I recently had a friend fall victim to this.  A woman in PR spread a nasty rumor about him being “a stalker” or some sort of undesirable, when in fact any attempt he was making to say hi socially when he ran into her randomly was really just an attempt to address why in the world she would spread rumors, and perhaps even to make peace with whatever the hell was causing her to do such dishonest and cruel things.Then he got to go around silent and alone with this knowledge, for fear of looking defensive, weak, or of low rank among men.  A true “catch-22.”

We cover how to do right by yourself in terms of amping up and preserving your masculinity, in the Mature Masculine Power Programs.

Let’s also look at women’s motivations in gossiping.

They do so in part to share with each other emotionally, and therefore feel more connected, secure, and feminine – which makes them more attractive, attracted, and passionate about life in general.  A good thing.

The woman in the situation above had misread a mistake by my male friend – accidentally hitting the “ignore” button on his facebook to her request to befriend each other.  And in fact he had attended a party at HER invite, simply to support her. When he was met with total hostility, it was hurtful and didn’t make any logical sense.

Yet, in understanding that one of the most painful situations a woman could feel is “being excluded from a group.”  The accidental facebook rejection was at the root of her anger.

And sadly, they had gone from privately liking and supporting each other, to publicly becoming “enemies” through the gossip she spread.

All something that could have been avoided had there been not only good communication, but a true understanding of the differences in instinct between men and women.

Often, appearances imply guilt, and this woman was literally trying the man publicly for something he did not at all commit.

That’s kind of common, and part of why there is a “War on Masculinity” – not perpetrated by women, but by Ignorance.

We go to great lengths to correct this with the programs such as the Omega Male Program, the mindOS Program, and the Mature Masculine Power.

Enjoy these! And find yourself armed to the teeth with practical knowledge to not only make you a better man, but to defeat the real enemy in the War on Masculinity – which is Ignorance.