If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

JUST ONE MORE TIME

Some time ago, I got out of a 5-year relationship with a wonderful woman named Tracey. As with many couples, we had started out hot, and then settled into a passionless routine. We were best friends. We watched a lot of TV. We read together in bed.

Perhaps our age difference was a problem; though fears of intimacy, no doubt, were also a factor. Nevertheless, Tracey was 4½ years older than I, and I had an insatiable wandering eye. We lived in a beach community. Many times she caught me looking lustfully at hot young women in skimpy outfits. I was in love with Tracey’s personality, but not her body.

It was a good lesson. It’s not enough to be best friends. Dr. Paul teaches that sexual attraction is the first part of building a relationship, whether you’re looking for Ms. Right or Ms. Right Now. What are the other two parts of building a relationship? Find out in “Mature Masculine Power” & “The Omega Male”.

While I was with Tracey, I worked on a paint crew. Picture me on a ladder next to my buddy, Dexter, who was a little older than I, painting a house near the beach on a blazing hot summer day. Whenever a beautiful young woman walked by, he and I would look at each other, shake our heads in mock dismay and mumble, “Just one more time!”; which meant: We knew we were approaching middle age and felt like we were invisible to hot young women and wouldn’t it be great if we could get away with fondling and caressing, just one more time, one or two young naked female bodies without cheating on our middle-aged girlfriends and being perceived as dirty old men?

MALE ENHANCEMENT

One of masculinity’s dirty little secrets is that many men, from time to time, suffer from erection problems. That began happening to me toward the end of my relationship with Tracey. And not only my dick, but my libido went limp. At the age of 33, I found myself saying things like: “Oh, well . . . sex isn’t all that important, anyway. What really counts is conversation, compatibility . . .” yada yada yada.

A wise female friend of mine, a massage therapist named Nika, said: “Bullshit! You just haven’t found the right woman, yet.”

Nika and I wound up in bed one night, not long after it ended with Tracey. And let me tell you, dear reader . . . my libido was resurrected! Res-erected! Haha!

WHO’S YOUR DADDY?

A few years later, I had the great, good fortune of dating a very mature young woman, named Jessica, in her early 20s. Ah . . . that soft, dewy, fertile flesh! She felt good, smelt good, and damned if she didn’t taste good, too! Before long, I was enjoying sex more than ever. And so was she!

One of the many benefits of being more than a decade older than Jessica was that I had much more staying power than I had when I was her age—no more worries about the gun going off before we were both ready. I was quite proud of myself for being able to hold off until she had climaxed several times. And she was SO appreciative!

Sex wasn’t the only way in which we satisfied each other. Jessica, accustomed only to unrefined boy-men, had never dated a man who knew how to treat her like a lady. Not that I was a sophisticate. But by my 30s, I had studied and practiced my social graces to the point where they had become second nature. And Jessica, not knowing any better, was easily impressed by my manners.

Ironically, many of these courtly behaviors—walking on the curbside of a sidewalk, extending my hand to help women in and out of cars, steering them clear of sidewalk grates when they were wearing heals, and many more—were taught to me by the older women I dated when I was in my 20s. Only, the older ones weren’t nearly as appreciative as young Jessica. They expected to be treated like they were special.

MAESTRO’S THEORY

I think that it’s in society’s best interest for older men to date younger women and for older women to date younger men. Why?

Mothers teach their sons how to be good providers for their wives and children. Mothers don’t teach their sons how to attract hot young women. That’s what fathers do. Unless, as is the case with most of us, our fathers are abusive or neglectful; in which case, older women do society a service by grooming boys to be sexy, sophisticated men—what Dr. Paul calls “A Gentleman with an Edge”. For more info on this concept, including the need for making women feel special, check out “The Gentleman’s Toolbox”.

As a result of what I call this epidemic of fatherlessness (a topic to be discussed in upcoming posts), many women grow up with no healthy examples of mature masculinity. The boys their age don’t know how to treat a lady. Thus young women need older men to teach them how they should be treated.

It’s a win/win situation for people in their 20s to date people over 35. And, to a certain extent, I think of it as the natural order of things. For thousands of years, older men have mentored young women into social and sexual maturity; and re-versa-visa, with older women and younger men. Think of it as prep school for long-term relationships.

When I was in my 20s, I was flattered by the sexual attention of older women. It boosted my masculinity and made me feel more accomplished than I was. Women in their 20s feel the same thing in reverse, when courted by older men. And now, after a good many years of dating younger women, I know why, when I was in my 20s, I couldn’t get dates with hot women my own age—they were dating older guys!

As always, I look forward to your views.

Till next time,

Maestro, Doctor Paul Dating Coach