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There is a War on Love going on – rampant divorce, infidelity, lack of social connection and friendship in the first place – one of the most glaring casualties of this war amounts to a secondary War on Masculinity itself.

Guess what? The enemy is again, not women or men, but Ignorance itself. One of the reasons I have lately been going to the extreme of actually saying there is a “war” is the surprising and escalating research findings coming out of late (such as the sudden five year spike in middle-aged white female suicides), and the horrible downturn in the world economy.

We tend to take the topic of dating, intimacy, love and relationships lightly as men, even to the point of in some cases seeing them as “hobbies” or “add-on’s” to our lives – as if these can be pegged into a category of life one might call “miscellaneous.” We know that to a man’s life, career status has a deep impact on self-worth and mood, and for both genders, love and intimate connection clearly connect with mood and self-worth. Clearly the data is showing something beyond a “life’s hobby” is at stake, and we need to do something about this.

You may find it interesting that another recent study shows that the former common psychology wisdom that married men have greater health and a longer lifespan than perpetual single men (“confirmed bachelors”) may be changing and turning around. Single men are catching up to married men in degree of health status, and this might be caused by them expanding their skill at social connection outside of marriage. I’m sure some guys will even share personal anecdotes in the forum and teleseminars about how actually being tied to a woman in marriage or outside of it, actually leaves them feeling less health physically, and more stressed, then when they have gone it alone.

Why?

Because without knowing the steps of human courtship in detail –not just “hooking up” or “getting laid,” but the whole process of cultivating deep and rich connections with women – men will often find themselves with or committed to the WRONG PERSON.  This is indeed worse than being alone, because you are draining resources that you needed to accomplish your career mission in life, and instead they are getting diverted toward someone who may not be much of a team player, match for you, or worse – may have an active but unconscious motivation to actually compete for attention AGAINST your career or even burn those resources.

This is entirely turned around by using the Omega Male Program.

Here is a little manifestation of the War on Masculinity, and how the enemy truly is Ignorance, not women themselves…

…recently there have been many articles written about gossip, why we do it and how it affects us.  Most of these stories treat men and women as interchangeable, perhaps sometimes for reasons of being “politically correct.”

Yet if we looked at WHY men and women gossip and for different reasons, or how gossip and rumors affect men and women differently, we can see things in a whole new light (rather than saying that gossip is either right or wrong, black or white.)

Say that we looked at what masculinity and femininity really are at the core, and what powers your own masculinity gives you – we’d discover that millions of years of evolution has programmed you to have certain instincts that are “always right,” always on the mark, and always good for you, for women, and for society.

Case in point: men are drawn to gossip to compete, to mess with other guys, and in so doing, to attempt to raise their own rank among other men – therefore their masculinity. Women are drawn to gossip as a way of sharing and connection with other women – which makes them feel more feminine – as well as providing a “checks and balances” system to expose and shun women “behaving badly” in their peer groups. “Cattiness.”

Well does this make men or women “bad?”

No. Men evolved in this way because if you were to envision a team of male warriors out in the jungle, fighting, killing for food, or staving off an enemy, if one of the men were to show weakness, a distaste for competition and testy banter, or to always be leaning too heavily on the other men, it could endanger the whole “team” and its mission.  Whether to fight an enemy, to kill for food, or to protect the village, this male instinct was lifesaving not only for individuals, but for the human race itself!

So is it any wonder to you why we would find that men by and large, avoid going to doctor’s visits, therapy, or generally “admitting weakness” or a need for help?  Men grossly under report depression for example.

I’ve seen some female authors for example, say that this is bad behavior – what’s wrong with these men and why don’t they have the common sense to go in and report a problem they have, getting some help for it?

Because part of the problem may be an already-low not only self-esteem, but masculinity itself. And reporting it – just that act – ironically makes the problem even worse instinctually.

Doesn’t this say something interesting about how gossip and rumors about a man may hurt him deeply, but then on top of this, he also feels alone with that information, doesn’t report it or get it better, and leaving him in a truly terrible place.

I recently had a friend fall victim to this.  A woman in PR spread a nasty rumor about him being “a stalker” or some sort of undesirable, when in fact any attempt he was making to say hi socially when he ran into her randomly was really just an attempt to address why in the world she would spread rumors, and perhaps even to make peace with whatever the hell was causing her to do such dishonest and cruel things.Then he got to go around silent and alone with this knowledge, for fear of looking defensive, weak, or of low rank among men.  A true “catch-22.”

We cover how to do right by yourself in terms of amping up and preserving your masculinity, in the Mature Masculine Power Programs.

Let’s also look at women’s motivations in gossiping.

They do so in part to share with each other emotionally, and therefore feel more connected, secure, and feminine – which makes them more attractive, attracted, and passionate about life in general.  A good thing.

The woman in the situation above had misread a mistake by my male friend – accidentally hitting the “ignore” button on his facebook to her request to befriend each other.  And in fact he had attended a party at HER invite, simply to support her. When he was met with total hostility, it was hurtful and didn’t make any logical sense.

Yet, in understanding that one of the most painful situations a woman could feel is “being excluded from a group.”  The accidental facebook rejection was at the root of her anger.

And sadly, they had gone from privately liking and supporting each other, to publicly becoming “enemies” through the gossip she spread.

All something that could have been avoided had there been not only good communication, but a true understanding of the differences in instinct between men and women.

Often, appearances imply guilt, and this woman was literally trying the man publicly for something he did not at all commit.

That’s kind of common, and part of why there is a “War on Masculinity” – not perpetrated by women, but by Ignorance.

We go to great lengths to correct this with the programs such as the Omega Male Program, the mindOS Program, and the Mature Masculine Power.

Enjoy these! And find yourself armed to the teeth with practical knowledge to not only make you a better man, but to defeat the real enemy in the War on Masculinity – which is Ignorance.

“Dating for Men over 35” will be moderated by Maestro, a man over 35 who has 30 years of dating experience.

CALL ME MAESTRO!

“But does he conduct an orchestra?”

Remember that Seinfeld episode? Haha

Well, in fact, I have conducted orchestras. But that was a long time ago, in another life.

In those days, I was a sheltered kid from a strict Protestant household, raised by a single mother and her parents; which means I had two generations of prudery instilled in me. I never saw a naked female (of any age) until I spied on my college-aged cousin in the shower, when I was 14.

I lost my virginity at age 22, but only after several years of “Christian” sex—meaning, everything but vaginal intercourse—and then only after that girl and I had dated for a year and a half and literally couldn’t stop our bodies from doing what came naturally.

That relationship ended after I left college. A degree in music qualified me to wait tables. One of the many restaurant jobs I worked over the next ten years was at a cheap seafood buffet in a resort town. That summer was a real eye-opener!

SUMMER OF LUST

The waiter that trained me was a tall, ruggedly handsome fellow named John. Despite the scars on his face (that he had garnered in a knife fight while on shore leave in the Navy) and a finger that had been partially shorn off during an engine room accident, leaving a delicate stub (It was his right middle, or “pussy finger”, as he called it.), he cast an elegant figure in our required tuxedo-with-no-jacket uniform.

“Welcome! You’re gonna meet a lot of women this summer,” was the first thing he said to me.

“Oh, yeah?” He had my attention.

“People come to this town for three reasons: sun, food and sex. Women come in here with their girlfriends to get away from their husbands and boyfriends,” he explained. “Being at the beach reminds them of when they were still single, before they got locked into their middle-American jobs and families. They lust for the passion that they used to have, that their husbands and boyfriends no longer provide. Of course, they don’t go around saying, ‘Hey, I’m gonna cheat on my man!’ But that’s what ends up happening. They want a handsome stranger to sweep them off their feet. It’s not just a fantasy.”

And so, we became wingmen, as we now call it. It was my first experience of being “popular with the ladies”, as my grandfather used to put it. We had women waiting for us almost every night that summer when we got off work.

Sometimes they slipped us their phone numbers or hotel room numbers along with their payments. Sometimes they were waiting at the bar or outside the restaurant for us at closing time. Sometimes we just plain ole asked them if they wanted to meet us after work, and most of the time they either said yes or showed genuine regret for having other plans or for being married. Sometimes the ones that said no would show up later, anyway. Sometimes the most aggressive ones WERE the married ones!

POWER IS SEXY

John was my first mentor in the art of “pick-up”. Looking back, with what I know now, I can see that the reason all those women were attracted to us is because of our status. They were attracted to us for the same reason that we, as men, are attracted to the hot cocktail waitresses and bartenders more than we are to an equally good-looking female who happens to be sitting right next to us.

One of my improv teachers used to say, “The only mistake you can make in improv is to admit that you’ve made a mistake. And that’s because POWER IS SEXY. Audiences will love you as long as you don’t give your power away. They want you to be powerful, to lead them on a journey. They want to know that they are safe in your hands, and that they aren’t wasting their time with you. Audiences look at performers much the same way that women look at men.”

MATURE MASCULINE POWER

Enter Doctor Paul! If you’re looking to become the kind of man that naturally attracts quality women, then the best place to start is with Dr. Paul’s “MATURE MASCULINE POWER” DVD/CD set. If you’re a little more advanced and you really wanna take it to the next level, then try “THE OMEGA MALE” DVD/CD series.

Till next time,

Maestro

If any of you have seen this incredible new movie, the Bourne Ultimatum, then you know that there are rich and extensive lessons about masculinity and communicating to women right there for us to learn from.

I’m sure most of you have at least seen the first two films in the series, The Bourne Identity and or the Bourne Supremacy, but the third installment utterly outdoes everything else in action films you’ve likely ever seen. Yes, all the Die Hard films, all the Bonds, and even The Professional.

If you really dug into the mindOS material over the past few years, then you know how useful films are to learn from. The main character of a truly great film is ALWAYS an “EVERYMAN.” This is one of those films.

Why an “Everyman?” Because if nearly anyone can get into the shoes of the main character, then you are watching right before your very eyes, the possible future life YOU could be having. In other words, if you could do EXACTLY the character decisions the main character makes, YOU will get exactly the same rewards the character gets at the climax.

So if YOU made the type of decisions Jason Bourne makes, then YOUR personal character would grow exactly in the ways his does. Who he is comes out of the result of what he DOES. He is unstoppable, and therefore so could YOU be.

Learning from this character doesn’t mean that you have to go out and join the CIA black ops program. You don’t have to get in firefights or fistfights. You can apply what you learn to how effective you are in relationships, your career, or nearly everything else in your life as a man.

Your character growth is STRATEGIC, not necessarily TACTICAL. By strategic, I mean the overall plan for your life, and the way you can develop purposeful HABITS that over time, repeated application, and deep understanding, lead to all the long term success you are wanting. Tactics are just the current single actions you take. They may be effective today but not tomorrow. That’s fine, but you need more than tactics in life.

If you have seen my friend Mystery’s new tv show, The Pickup Artist, then you are aware that everyone and their random acquaintances are now knowledgeable about certain specific TACTICS you can use in effectively communicating attractiveness to women. But these will work in some scenarios while not in others, may work today, or this year, but perhaps not tomorrow, or next year. You always have to EVOLVE if all you use are tactics.

The great thing about CHARACTER though - all the details we cover in the basic growth strategies of mindOS, refine in the KWML material, and bring strategically into full systematic approach in the Omega Male Seminar - is that your investment in your own character growth is the secret key to getting your entire life onto a strategic track of successful HABITS. You don’t have to be always scrambling to learn the latest gimmicks and moves, the latest buzzwords and communication tricks. It’s all on autopilot.

If you could break Jason Bourne down in three ways - body/physical, heart, and mind - you’d see something remarkable.

BODY/PHYSICAL

Some of my coaching staff have a gimmick they laugh about using. It’s merely a TACTIC. Whether in romantically relating to women, or in friendships, competition with other males, and other social challenges, they call it THE TALONS OF ATTRACTION.

Like an eagle’s talons, they joke with each other about how powerful it is to grip someone else’s arm firmly, but with a spirit of kind leadership, and gently DIRECT them toward or away from themselves.

With a woman you are dating, this seems to get her very attracted to you (thus the term, Talons of ATTRACTION), and with moving other gentlemen AWAY from you with your “talons,” it seems to magically encourage their RESPECT for you.

But that is mere TACTICS.

The actual STRATEGY of masculine character underneath this tactic is that it shows strong boundaries and territoriality, the term, “strength” literally being the very psychological resource stored in one’s boundary.

Women actually then feel SAFER because of your presence, since they are hard-wired to be attracted to men who make them feel safe. And other competing men feel at first basic RESPECT for you (do to your understanding of the male need for personal territory - as in “get out of mine”) and eventually RESPECT because you are conveying an instinct that they also have, but do not have the masculine experience to put into consistent ACTION. They then want to learn from you or be associated with you.

There is a kind of assertiveness and balanced restraint that must be used, and Jason Bourne does this in spades.

He is an Everyman in the sense that he is stressed and challenged much of the time by forces he does not know the full identity of, is therefore an underdog, slightly vulnerable, but has a fortitude, a strength of boundary in which he is willing to face the unknown in his search to find out who he is. (He has amnesia for his identity due to a government program that wipes out one’s memory in order to train you to be an assassin, and due to head trauma suffered during his last sanctioned “kill.”)

In using his body, he always has the Observing Ego turned on. He is aware of where all the threats are in his vicinity, and systematically takes them out with the least possible damage or harm to others, or himself of course.

This example of how boundary skill applies not only to our minds, but our bodies as well is amazing. Any of you who have taken advanced martial arts forms such as Aikido or Judo know that the most effective of all combat (or competition) is that in which you subdue an opponent without even causing them harm. In doing so, it is much more unlikely that they continue to cause you trouble. There isn’t an “eye for an eye” revenge motive.

And that’s what I mean by “restraint.” When I teach you about the definition of a “gentleman” in some of my media appearances, or in detail in the Mature Masculine Power ecourse or DVDS, I tell you that a “gentleman is not a gentle man.” He can meet direct force with direct force, can joust or duel as well as exercise diplomacy and politics where they are most effective.

Bourne does this compellingly after roughing up nearly half the Moscow police force, then, when in the clear superior position of having his gun trained on an officer, he does NOT pull the trigger. He can easily just leave without their further interference, and upon quickly realizing this with his Observing Ego skill (from mindOS), he simply says in perfect Russian, “My argument is not with you.” Then he leaves with the great respect of the very officer who was hunting him down with “shoot to kill” orders only moments before.

This is the same effect you see when two dudes who don’t know each other get in a fistfight that leaves them panting and laughing at the end, full of respect for each other’s strength in battle, and now fast friends. (Remember the gun scene in the film, Swingers, when leads a few days later to playing video games together?)

Bourne is a leader in terms of his body language and physical action because of a special feature I teach you about in my most advanced material. He has practiced and practiced, and had experience after experience at using his body - the same way you develop skill during a bootcamp - to the point where he lets it all go on autopilot, INSTINCTS which he has come to TRUST intuitively, and knows that they can be let loose to produce results without him having to slowly think and plan out every move.

Great action scenes here.

HEART

When we are talking about the heart we are talking about more than just emotions. We are talking about self-esteem, which is completely spelled out for you in visual maps in the mindOS material. When we say that a man “has heart,” we are talking about his fortitude of self-esteem, his ability to both care about a cause, a friend, or a woman, and at the same time, go out and defend those causes, friends, and the woman with COURAGE.

Jason Bourne is so much more a superior spy-film action hero than James Bond because he is not a paper cutout or robotic killer with a misogynistic tint. He is emotionally vulnerable, can feel lost, confused, tender, can feel love for a woman, and yet not get so enslaved by his own emotions that they render him incapable of action, rationality, or purpose in life.

He has amnesia, but like the famous writer and psychiatrist, Victor Frankel did in the Nazi Concentration camp, he can find a purpose for his life, even if everything else out there is still a question mark, even his very identity, his real name. He decides at some point that even with people around every corner trying to kill him, he MUST discover who he really is.

And isn’t that just like you and me?

We MUST find out who we are in this life, and discover our PURPOSE for being. Then we must use that HEART we’ve found - the tender well-being to care for others with, and the courage to face the unknown.

MIND

Which brings us to Jason Bourne’s MIND.

It’s been somewhat erased.

The government is out to get him. People want to kill him, but through the course of the movie and all the government bureaucracy, we (and he) find that sometimes people are just taking orders, not really thinking about the ethics of why they are doing what they do.

Many a conspiracy theorist loves this aspect of the Bourne films, but if you look a little under the surface, how much more is there for us to learn.

The US government in the film is not just your average bad-guy villain. It is a fantastic metaphor for all the random, seemingly malevolent forces and challenges that surround us all every day. On an individual basis, individuals who hassle us may in fact mean us personal harm, destructiveness, and get pleasure out of seeing us in pain, or loss, or difficulty.

But if you add up all those individuals in your life, and all the challenges and troublesome problems that you have to solve just to get along as a man in the world today, the sum total of it all is not some specific conspiracy to “get you.” It is all just random human behavior, and added up, means you no specific harm. Your environment doesn’t even know you exist. It just does what it does.

Like Bourne uses the martial arts form called Krav Maga - an art of using everyday objects as defensive weapons - you too must use what you’ve got in your environment to defend yourself and build a life that suits your purpose for being here.

Bourne is a gentleman with “an edge.” He knows how to defend, how to kill, how to automatically destroy by reflex in order to get his mission accomplished. But the metaphor for the film and its politics is that there is a far more profound aspect to being a man than simply taking orders and going on missions that don’t help you become what you are meant to become.

While on that planned assassination so many years ago, when he lost his memory, the feature of the mind that he was starting to recover was that of his mature masculine ETHICS. That when he saw that his “target” was not just an Enemy of the State, but a father of young children, a husband, and a pawn in the game of government intrigue, just like himself, he couldn’t pull the trigger.

And that wasn’t weakness. It was growth into a new phase of being a man, one who came back more powerful than a mere bag of assassin-tactics could ever be.

Bourne finds that he has nothing to live for that OTHERS put onto him, but EVERYTHING to live for in discovering WHO HE IS. If he manages to find that, then he has found everything one needs to regain control of life, and perhaps one day (movie FOUR!) find love again.

Because he is an Everyman, he is you, and you are him in potential. So the journey ahead is no different for you.

Find yourself. And everything else - love, dating, career - they all just work out. Not randomly, like the environment around you, but because of the strategic nature of your CHARACTER.

Freedom is a word that gets tossed around pretty loosely in western culture the past several years. It’s the theme of cutesy songs, on the lips of empty-headed political pundits who use it as a “brand” for whatever other ideas they are selling to the masses, and like words such as success, happiness, and love, it ends up losing its crucial importance in our lives.

We’d rather watch a news item about Paris Hilton than think deeply on what freedom means to us.

I’m not talking about political freedom or prison systems. I’m talking about something uniquely biologically programmed into the animal instincts of men here.

Believe it or not, out of nowhere I found myself in front of an audience of bright, motivated men quoting Patrick Henry:

“Give me Liberty, or give me death.”

And I’ll tell you why in a moment.

This may be one of those things that is so hidden in your life, you don’t even know the degree of pain you suffer over it.

You might be a man who has a lot of material wealth, or a guy who has a great deal of friends, good connections to women, and a great career you get up for every morning.

You might otherwise be a man who has had his share of problems developing satisfying connections to women, might be in a job that isn’t right for you, or find that you have both a woman in your life and a job, but getting up in the morning to deal with both doesn’t have much pleasure for you.

Either way, there’s something you might not know about yourself or the culture you live in right now, and it’s eating your life without you even knowing it.

This information is the only place I’ve found that completely explains what’s going on.

You see, I recently checked out the film, Reign Over Me again. Maybe you took my suggestion a number of months ago and saw it in the theatre.  It depicts two men - both dentists who were college roommates - each of which feel entirely alone in the world as far as being known at a deep, masculine identity level by anyone else in their lives.

Adam Sandler plays a man who had it all and lost it all in 9-11 - the love of his life, his three daughters, and nearly his sanity. He is a shell of a man now.

Don Cheadle plays a successful dentist who has a great job, but one that is pretty meaningless at times, especially given that his perfect wife doesn’t really “get” him, or knows him on a deep level. She sees him as a teammate and clone of herself, that he should open up to her, but when he does, she bashes him for “adolescent needs” such as making other guy friends, playing sports, or doing nearly anything by himself outside her watch.

You might notice that one or the other of these two men are actually on the ends of the spectrum of where you now are in your life. You might have it better than both of them, but you’ll notice at least a little of yourself in one or the other of them. It doesn’t matter who you are as long as you are a man.

There’s a reason.  It’s about FREEDOM.

One of the things that came up frequently in the seminar - and it will be available to you eventually for listening or watching - was the concept of feeling shame over things that men need in order to feel good about themselves. To feel masculine.

Things like watching sports, competing with other males, bonding with them, getting wild and crazy, trying dangerous things like mountain-climbing, cliff diving, doing stupid things like setting things on fire in your back yard just to see what happens, playing practical jokes on people, going out somewhere just to be alone for awhile, or just “because” are some things that get bashed at times as being “adolescent.”

Guess what they all have at the core?

The masculine principle of FREEDOM.

What if men all spoke only Norwegian, and part of their culture was that they really loved to eat cheese pudding by themselves, in small groups? It was just built into them. A craving that left them feeling empty if they didn’t build it into their diet.

And what if women all spoke only Italian, and part of their culture was that they really felt better at the end of their day by getting together for a big feast of pasta with each other. Just part of their culture.  Without it, they felt kind of anxious and incomplete.

When they try to connect with each other for dinner and conversation, they get all uptight. The Norwegians don’t really share their feelings with each other. They associate in small groups and just appreciate the cheese pudding, not talking all that much. The Italians love a get together and are really emotional with each other, sharing everything, and passing the plates while chatting wildly.

The Italians get kind of off-put by the relative quiet and cliquishness of the Norwegians. What’s more - they start to rip on the choice of wanting Cheese Pudding as part of the dinner. They find it disgusting, lowbrow, and simply won’t allow it at the table. They tell the Norwegians that they need to go eat that stuff on their own time and it won’t be happening here - not in THEIR house.

This offends the Norwegians deeply, but they don’t say anything, because they aren’t used to expressing themselves. They simply absorb the insult and agree that they will sort of sample the pasta a little just to appease the Italians, but will sneak off later to find some Cheese Pudding.

The Italians of course find out that after the dinner, the Norwegians went off to eat Cheese Pudding by themselves and feel excluded and angry about this insult.

Then there are bad relations between the two nations.

This is men and women. And the Cheese Pudding is the masculine instincts that include competition, the need for adventure, risk-taking to test their mettle and rank among other men, as well as the need for aloneness and FREEDOM.

It is built into the male animal nature to need the freedom to explore, to emote in ways that further their rise in status among other men, and not to emote just for the sake of doing so. The freedom to have self-determination in how one’s time and energy and resources are used for building a life that is uniquely geared toward  kind of “masculine mission” in life.

That mission might be about starting a business, or reaching the board room, or winning at a sport, or even exploring a hobby that seems silly to women. The way to get there may seem to others to be filled with irresponsible behavior (the need to take risks and find one’s masculine limits of skill), the need to train or practice ALONE or against other men in order to get the unique kind of testing of mettle, measured against other men, and making us better men, and filled with the need to find out from time to time that if we needed to, we could in fact stand on our own two feet in life, even if we did not have a woman on our arm.

Not doing the latter can have a way of sapping out the core of your masculinity over time. If you are always around one woman, or even many women to the exclusion of bonding with other men, you just start to lose a frame of reference on what you are worth as a man among men. You can ONLY use other men as a measure of that.

And it’s all built into our masculine biology.

If you were to imagine being in a primitive tribe, you would be among the men who go out hunting and facing the wild. If you were always exclusively around women, you wouldn’t know if the time came that the village were under attack or low on food, that you could actually survive and help others survive.

And that is not to say that men and women don’t have wonderful intellectual and emotional skills, or character, sophistication, diplomacy or accomplishment in the civic, professional, academic, arts, sciences, or business life.

I am ONLY talking about the animal part of us here. The things that make us men and women, not clones of each other.

Well the film, 300, came up this weekend, and the story of the Battle of Thermopylae between 300 Spartans, and half a million Persians. Some of the guys asked about courage in the context of impossible odds such as in that story.

When I thought about it, I recalled one of the dramatic statements in the movie, similar to that in Gladiator:

“What we do in life echoes in eternity.”

In other words, men and women are quite equal but DIFFERENT, and the race wouldn’t have survived without either.

Women give their bodies to pregnancy and birth at the beginning of life. They are biologically hard-wired to desire sex of course, but sex ONLY with the promise of commitment, or at the very least that sex is “special,” and they are respected and unique among all women in a man’s life if there is a sexual connection going on.

It might make sense to you that men give their biological contribution to society and the next generation near the END of life, even in death. They produce a fruit of their labors near the end of life, in their CAREER, their life’s work and ambition. In the sustenance they have hunted for their children, “out there,” on sales calls and through promotions up the ranks, and ultimately through the masculine mission that will give their children and society some sort of LEGACY from their lives.

Women want to be remembered during life for the sacrifices they made for you at its beginning.

And men want to never be forgotten after death for the accomplishments they had achieved by the time of its END.

Our accomplishments as men cannot be gotten and heroically given to others without an ample balance of FREEDOM in our lives - to create, to lead, to build, to explore and adventure, to test ourselves, and to be alone to know that we know that we know we can stand on our own even in the midst of chaos and challenge.

This is why women, like the Italians in the story above, are left confused as to why in the world at the very time of challenge, the opportunity for teamwork and togetherness, men opt for aloneness rather than sharing.

We need to tap into our FREEDOM if we are feel fully masculine.

The warriors in 300 were quite aware they were going to die. We all do someday.  But theirs was in their words, going to be a “good death.”

And that can only come after finishing the mission that you were put here to accomplish.

If a man has been properly initiated into manhood, he has come face to face with death and learned that he can do battle with it for a time, and win. He learns to not fear it, but rather simply know it is there sooner or later.

If you defeat the fear of death, then what else is there to fear in life?

Nothing.

And you are truly a man who can be effective in the word.

So in this rich conversation, most of which we got on tape, the realization dawns that there is something uniquely MORE important, more passionately desired than even “survival” and staying alive for a little while longer.

It is the mission. It is what you are going to LEAVE BEHIND - that gift to others, your children, and society that ONLY YOU could have created.

“Give me Liberty or give me death!”

I noticed that some of the attendees who had an IMPOSSIBLE time at first with approaching women in the field work section out on the town changed when they saw it: myself and the coaches BEING OURSELVES with people we met in public. If we were to just sit back and send you into interactions, there’s no mentoring going on. We had to DEMONSTRATE what it is to be a FREE MAN.

Free to be yourself. That’s what mindOS is all about!

To free yourself from the JAIL that is your past bad experiences, the negativity that has LOCKED you into pessimism, the belief that you CAN’T BE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE, the prison of your doubt, your fear, and your worry about what others will think of you.

Stop it.

Be FREE.

Do you realize that ANY ACTION you take that frees you in ANY WAY actually RAISES YOUR INNER SENSE OF MASCULINE POWER?

You literally can FEEL it, just as Don Cheadle and Adam Sandler do in their growth as men in Reign Over Me.

I think there must even be a way to MEASURE it.

Do you know what this does for you?

It literally can be COUNTED on - no doubts, no uncertainty, no regrets - to bolster your success with BOTH women and career.

Guys, FREEDOM = the very energy of passion for life as a man. When you tap into this, you have the secret key for building something that no one has ever laid out for you before so clearly. Not anywhere.

You have the very tool to power a life mission that leads to all you ever wanted BOTH with women AND career. And you don’t need to have to choose BETWEEN one or the other as your focus.  They work TOGETHER.

Suddenly, a man asked me what seemed to be out of the blue:

“What is your opinion of prenuptuals?”

In the first few seconds I didn’t see how it could relate.

But suddenly I realized that in today’s crazy dating market of hookups and divorce, and confusion about who is meant for us, there is a fairness possible, a win/win among men and women, a way of respecting each other and what we give to each other.

It blurted out as something sounding almost like a joke, and the room erupted in laughter.

I said, “A pre-nup is a condom.”

When the laughter died down, I explained.

When women give up sex and get broken up with or divorced sometime later, they have given up an opportunity to create a new life - their unique and core gift to humanity in a pregnancy, the suffering and sacrifice, and changes in their body. The pain, and uncertainty, and need for support and safety as they deliver a new life to the world.

Condoms protect against so much for a woman. Disease, unplanned pregnancy, and the risk that they will be abandoned after the man has enjoyed the pleasure with her. If a man refuses this then it ought to make a woman wonder about his intentions, his character, and his respect for her as they connect in the early stages of romance.

But…what about the Norwegians? What about men?

They work for a lifetime building this masculine mission, this gift to the world in their deeds, their careers, their work and labor. The pain of it, the uncertainty, and need for safety and teamwork that perhaps, because they’re men, they don’t often complain about or tell others about - least of all women. It might diminish our masculinity in their eyes to admit weakness.

So they don’t know how very much passion we put into our work - our “other child.”

If women have so very much risk, and so much to lose from their identity in giving in to sex, then men are in the very same situation when called upon to risk their resources and their work at great risk and potential loss of identity.

There is nothing I can thing of that a pre-nup more resembles than a condom then. One which protects against disease and risk of loss of the sometimes decades or lifelong effort emerging from one’s masculine instinct.

Fair, is FAIR.

Pass the Cheese Pudding, but no need to talk too much as you do so, thanks.

If you are interested in this kind of insight in relating to women, while learning specific, targeted, and exact things you can do to “fill the void” as a man, to bolster your masculinity through the roof in a way that woman can deeply understand and get on board with, get Mature Masculine Power.

This is the ONLY place I have found, on the internet, literature, academia, or in person coaching, that you can find this level of material to directly address the vague experience of uneasiness, misunderstanding, “something not quite right,” or even emptiness in your life. That kind that is STILL there even after you have the ability to get a lot of dates, a “great” woman and a “great” job.

In them, Jon Ibrahim, a sex columnist and firefighter, and I cover ALL the biological aspects of masculine instinct, the strategy and tactics for having this core power in your life, and how it effects not only your relations with women, but your CAREER as well.

My follow up to the course was to turn to Carl, a professional boxer and uber-masculine force of nature. I tapped his brain for street smart wisdom about “being a man” who not only attracts women, but masters his career. In Carl’s case, death is a real risk. He laughs at it, and has been undefeated on his way to a world championship.

Thank you, all of you, for being a part of a cultural change on the horizon.

Most guys come to a site like this or into the “dating community” in search of quick answers. For whatever, they come looking for something. They think they want a girlfriend, a relationship or maybe they want casual sex. Usually men are looking for a quick answer to solve their problem. They are in search of super techniques they can use, and use it to get a supermodel to fall in love with them.

Little do they know… most guys who get into this stuff have a long, hard journey ahead of them before they can actually master this area of their lives.

See… no matter what anyone tells you, your success comes from within.

Not from following a script, learning the “decapitation method” or reading the “body language of gods” eBook. It’s a long rite of passage for most guys to get this handled.

It involves going out to social gatherings/venues on a regular basis, interacting with strangers, talking to beautiful WOMEN and even getting dissed by many of them.

You have to push yourself WAY past your comfort zone, project your innate masculinity and find a source of guidance. Without the guidance you are lost, traveling towards your goal aimlessly and without focus. Its imperative and most men don’t know where to look. For me that guidance came primarily from Doctor Paul’s material.

It sped up the learning process and got me to where I am today.

My journey started when I was eighteen years old. I was a freshman in college and just got out of a long, co-dependent relationship. Immediately after we broke up I realized that I did not have the ability to attract the women I wanted. Yeah, I could date girls similar to my ex-girlfriend and end up in unsatisfying relationships but obviously I wanted more than that. So, like anyone of my generation I went to the internet for help.

I typed “How to attract girls” into a search engine and after clicking a few links I was introduced to all the personalities, theories, social experiments and support that make up what is referred to as the “community”.

Some of the stuff I read was pretty wild. I didn’t completely believe that wearing platform boots, a mesh shirt and painting my fingernails black could help me get the cheerleader I was looking for. Nor did I completely understand how a “neg” or a “routine stack” could increase your attractiveness and likability. But I tried it all.

Every ridiculous theory, routine and tactic I could find. And miraculously, bit by bit I got better responses from women I met when out on the town (my professors didn’t know what to make of my new fashion sense however).

I got results despite the fact that I had on platform boots and referred to every girl I talked to as a “power puff girl”. Today I look back and laugh because I cant believe I actually tried these things. It’s so ludicrous. To those of you who are new to this stuff, these are all REAL tactics that were taught over the internet to people looking to improve success with women. These “techniques” were the result of trial and error and the continuous group effort to flesh out what it was that made some men attractive and some unappealing.

Over the years the theories improved, experts like Doctor Paul and others offered value that only science could provide and community members started to really understand how attraction worked. The learning curve sped WAY up - people could get great responses from women much faster than ever before. I bought Doctor Paul’s product line, shed my goofy outfits, stopped using scripts and “routines” and eventually stopped even trying to actively attract women.

After a while, it became so natural that I didn’t have to think about anything and my attractiveness just poured out of me.

This may seem like a weird story, and might even turn some people off to learning this stuff. Shit, when I started I thought I would be a playboy my first night out.

The truth is though; it’s the journey that you appreciate more than anything else.

The memories I have made in the process have become some of the most cherished memories of my life. The first time I kissed a girl in a bar - which now seems SO trivial was such an accomplishment. It was not as superficial as it sounds. I felt a rush of excitement and LIFE by achieving something so silly after months of study and “in field work”. The first time I took a girl home from a bar was a thrill too.

I couldn’t understand how a woman could want to have sex with me after knowing me for only a few hours. I thought I needed at LEAST three dates. The first girlfriend I got from a cold approach was more validating than anything. I met a drop dead gorgeous girl who fell in love with me almost at first sight. I would have never experienced any of this if I did not go on this journey. As small as some of these events may sound, to me they were MONUMENTAL. The process of learning is often so much more rewarding than completing you’re journey and achieving your goal.

These days I am able enjoy the fruits of my labor. I have amazing friends, unlimited choices with women, some great girlfriends and excitement that I previously would have never dreamed of. And because I have the memories of my journey I can fully appreciate it.

I have also learned to look at dating and women in a more positive way. Because I can “see the matrix” as they say - and naturally live it, I apply the same concepts to everything I do in life and success comes naturally. Mastering you’re life with women means mastering your life entirely - because to get to that point (whether this makes sense to you now, or not) you need to develop every virtue you have to offer as a man and only then will you be able to become the guy women not only want to sleep with, but want to date, admire and love as well.

Good luck guys, and enjoy the ride.

-Eric